第一章

第二节 新生 (2016.10-2016.11)

​ 随着国庆节的结束,新学期的课程开始了。在巨大的校区里散步,我心中突然涌起一种夹杂着不知道是雀跃、骄傲,还是忐忑的矛盾心情。我想,在经历了那么多事情之后,终于成为这样一所梦寐以求学校的一员,心里总是会有一种使命感,希望成为一个优秀的学生,希望拿奖拿到手软,希望能够“出名”……刚刚从高中毕业的我,也难以受到那样的局限

​ As the National Celebration Holiday ends and the courses begin, a brand new life settled, for a new freshman. Wandering in the huge campus, a glorious sense of proud came in to my mind. Being eventually a student in NJU, I was about to make something great in my next 4 years. I wanted to become an excellent student. I wanted to earn lots of scholarships. I wanted to be the top. I speak on the valedictory ceremony…

​ However the dream almost came to an end in the first Calculus course. I had been weak at Math stuffs ever since my junior school. As you can see it seems that I am more capable of writing things down and telling stories like this, rather than sitting for an hour checking where the hell I had made a silly mistake in calculation(smile). Calculus made myself mad, in that not only it was difficult to work out a solution, but also challenging to avoid any silly mistake I had made. Upon receiving the homework paper with bunch of red crosses, I went upset. The dreams seem to fall apart from the ever beginning.

​ Shortly in the middle of November, there is a mid-term exam. Right before the exam day, there was a yearly online shopping festival. But I had almost no impetus to buy anything, since the calculus seemed to be overwhelmingly difficult. Atthat exact moment, I realized that I simply had not much gift in maths, neither interests. For the first time, I experienced great humiliation in that I seldom encountered such desperate and exasperating experiences, when I striven to learn, but in vain.

​ But that was not the worst. One semester later, in Calulus II, I obtained a pitiful score of 67, almost failed to pass. For the first time, I decided to flee, and I made myself clear:

​ Never touch the math stuffs again!